And I'm back for 5 more films to quench your thirst for horror. [Insert rest of witty intro here] Don't forget to catch up with Part 1 & Part 2.
October 11th: Poltergeist II (1986)
I have to start by stating that the first Poltergeist is a personal favorite. That fact alone set the bar of expectation for this installment very high. It wasn't particularly bad; I just couldn't get behind some major details. The new Native American and evil cult leader characters were stereotypically goofy. They would have benefited from a darker feel that didn't make them look like such cartoon characters. Then again, these films were always made to be "Family Horror" so I guess we're stuck with this. RATING:
October 12th: Nosferatu (1922)
Surprisingly creepy. Though this isn't because of excellent film making. Nosferatu is creepy because Max Schreck is naturally creepy. I know it's a classic and perhaps ahead of it's time, but I would have shown way less of the Nosferatu character. That way we can relate more to other major characters. More build-up would have gained Nosferatu a lot more mysticism and would make for a great reveal. Instead we get a few awkward scenes of Mr. Nosferatu walking slowly with his finger nails up. A lot of it seems like the director walked around a set saying "Ooooh, this place is creepy. Max should walk down these parts!" I'd give this film 5 stars due to it's impact on the horror genre, but I guess I must be in a bad mood or something. Sorry Nossy... RATING:
October 13th: Hellraiser (1987)
Hellraiser gives goosebumps. No comedy, just a lot of dark, twisted horror. Something a lot of 80's horror films could have used. Not the best acting, but at this point, do we even expect great acting in horror films? I don't usually say this, but this is one of the few horror classics that could use a grand reboot. Pinhead has taken a backseat to Jason, Michael, and Freddy and has been mostly forgotten by today's youth. It's time to raise some hell. RATING:
October 14th: Grave Encounters (2011)
Maybe it's because I've always wanted to work on a ghost hunting show, or maybe it's because I can relate to the whole "reality" TV production background. For whatever reason, I love this film more than I should. I'd be the first to say how much the horse has been beaten by "Blair Witch knockoffs", but it comes down to one question: Did your hair stand on the back of your neck? I'd have to answer that with a big "Yes". Sadly, these films don't have much replay value since the jumps are best when unexpected. In fact, the only replay value they really have is watching them with friends to see their reaction. Very "2 Girls, 1 Cup-esque". Gross, I know. But Grave Encounters does a fantastic job of taking it's viewers for a strange ride. Oh, and there's a sequel... RATING:
October 15th: The Faculty (1998)
What do Frodo Baggins, Jean Grey, The Daily Show, Shooter McGavin, Hyde from That 70's Show, and Usher all have in common? They're all in this film. And I haven't even mentioned Josh Hartnett or Salma Hayek yet. This might be the strangest assortment of actors I've ever seen. The film is fun but in no way scary. A good way to describe it: Aliens invading the set of American Pie. If I wasn't so familiar with the entire cast, I might have lost all interest within the first 10 minutes. Luckily I get a kick out of seeing actors in a worse state. RATING:
Yadda yadda yadda, witty witty witty. Bridge to Halloween music. End Scene.
TODAY'S TASTY TRACK
Marilyn Manson "Sweet Dreams"
Some of them want to use you
Some of them want to get used by you
Some of them want to abuse you
Some of them want to be abused.
And here we go again with the next installment of Horror Films on Netflix 2012. If you missed the first part you can catch up by clicking here.
October 4th: The Fog (1980)
Who let that creepy old sailor near those kids? This has John Carpenter's fingerprints all over it from the feel to the pace. It doesn't even come within a stone's throw of the original Halloween but it still is efficient enough to get the scares that audiences desire. And I use "scares" loosely. I was never on the edge of my seat but the story was intriguing enough to keep me interested. Sadly, if John Carpenter wasn't the director/writer/music behind this film, I have a feeling that it would have been forgotten with time. RATING:
October 5th: The Thing (1982)
Sorry to all the dog lovers for that video, but John Carpenter redeems himself with this instant classic. And no, I'm not talking about that new prequel. The original has such a suspenseful feel to it so you'll have no choice but to get involved with the story. You'll be teased with potential scares over and over again until you just can't take it anymore and develop anxiety. Last year I had The Thing ranked as the #2 horror film on Netflix. Maybe it'll take the #1 spot for this year??? RATING:
October 6th: Tucker & Dale vs. Evil(2010)
Genius! While watching this film, I had the sudden urge to rip the concept off and do my own movie just for fun. I love the idea of having a friendly pair of rednecks who just want to enjoy their new vacation cabin in the woods but are terrorized by neighboring college kids due to stereotyping and a lot of bad luck. The action is ridiculous at times but you can't help but feel for these two backwoods boys as they go through this hilarious yet unrelenting ordeal. RATING:
October 7th: Atrocious (2010)
Another one of those "Oh look! A camera! I should videotape everything until I die in the not so distant future!" kinds of movies ... except it's in Spanish. Very slow despite it having a short running time of 1 hour and 13 minutes. I understand why the filmmakers were spending so much time developing the vastness of the maze, but I found my interest getting just as lost as these characters. The payoff was decent though. It ends on a scary note but had nothing original to add to the popular "Oh look! A camera! I Should videotape everything until I die in the not so distant future!" sub-genre of horror. Official name? RATING:
October 8th: The Burning (1981)
I got into this a lot more than I should have. My rating is based purely on how well the film was made, but if I factor in my love for 80's slasher films, it would be a little bit higher. I enjoyed the characters despite their goofiness. Plus, it has a young, less bald George Costanza. I would make some changes though. I would have trashed the story behind the burnt killer going to the hospital to ultimately turn into a psychopath when he kills a New York prostitute. Either advance his depth of character by showing more of his metamorphosis or keep it as an old campfire story. Or maybe turn the nerd into a schizophrenic, revengeful killer who is mistaken for the burnt man. But it's from the stereotypical 80's so we're stuck with a predictable Friday the 13th rip-off. RATING:
October 9th: Trick 'r Treat (2007)
Well this sucks. Trick 'r Treat was just recently pulled from Netflix. I was prepared to go on a rant about how I've watched this film multiple times after my first viewing. Last October, I had it at #6 on my Top 10 Horror Films on Netflix, but now it's become my new favorite Halloween film. It's very entertaining and I can't get enough of it. I assume it'll be back streaming once Fear.net finishes it's 24 hour Halloween marathon of the film, but who knows. How bout we get that planned sequel out?! RATING (despite disqualification):
October 10th: Creepshow (1982)
Not a film to scare, just entertain. The tagline almost gets it right when it proclaims Creepshow as "The Most Fun You'll Ever Have Being Scared". Basically what we have here is a horror anthology directed by the great George A. Romero with a screenplay from the just as great Stephen King. That makes it's easy to get behind despite it's real lack of horror. The entertainment factor hasn't stopped this film from becoming a lovable classic though. Plus appearances from Ted Danson & Leslie Nielsen can't hurt, right? RATING:
Another installment of spooky thrills finished. Just 20 more films to go before we go ahead and make a Top 10 out of these bad boys on Halloween. In the meantime, here's another tune to keep your mind indulged with the spirit of Halloween.
TODAY'S TASTY TRACK Rob Zombie "Living Dead Girl"
Crawl on me
Sink into me
Die for me
Living Dead Girl
Blood on her skin
Dripping with Sin
Do it again
Living Dead Girl
Ladies and gentlemen, it's officially October, which means I've gone horror movie crazy. We're already 3 days in and I'm 3 films deep with a whole list of potential Netflix gems that will keep my mind satisfied until Halloween. And as long as my freelance work doesn't pick up again (looking like it might), I'll be updating this blog regularly throughout the month with reviews and suggestions.
So lets start this bucket of filth off right. The first few days I've decided to ease myself into the process with movies that aren't the scariest or best, but definitely have their perks.You'll see what I'm talking about...
A Zombie War that ends with Zombies enslaved as the humans' servants? What an interesting Canadian film. I love the concept and alternate 1950's timeline, but I thought the Cinematographer could have done a better job of imitating the filmmaking style of the 50's. I'm not saying it was bad in any way. It's just the music, acting, and writing all fit the content but the cinematography, minus the opening shown above, just didn't do the same for me. Still a great satire on American values and the media with enough zombie fun to please most enthusiasts. Wait a minute... isn't that Trinity from The Matrix???
"What are you gonna do, knock my block off?!" Let me explain my mindset throughout the film. First I started with some laughter for the horrible writing/acting and ridiculousity [new word alert] of everything. Then there was a bunch of "WTF's" let out during certain scenes. My laughter would dissipate... and I slowly dozed off ... I woke up for the not-so-climatic ending and with a negative impression stained to my mind. On a positive note, the clown costumes were incredible for the time. And according to the directors, they're planning a sequel next year. Will I watch it? ...Eh, why not? "Damn".
Well if this doesn't make you want to play a round of Call of Duty: Nazi Zombies then I don't know what will. Basically a Norwegian Friday the 13th installment, but instead of the young, horny campers being terrorized by an undead Jason Voorhees on Camp Crystal Lake (or in Space... ugggh), they're attacked by an undead army of Nazis in the snowy mountains of Norway. I had a lot of fun watching this film. Ridiculous at times, but that was expected. I wasn't too excited about having to read subtitles for 88 minutes, but the actors do a great job of carrying the film despite the language barrier. Thoroughly enjoyed.
RATING:
Well that be alls I got so far. And just so you can have a sneak peak of what's in store, here's some of the films that made it to this month's Queue:
Atrocious
The Burning
Candyman
Children of the Corn
Creepshow 2
The Faculty
The Fog
Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer
The Host
House on Haunted Hill (1959)
Land of the Dead
The Last Exorcism
Poltergeist II
The Prince of Darkness
Santa Sangre
The Sentinel (1977)
Session 9
As you can see, I've really dropped the ball by never seeing some mandatory cult hits (Candyman, Children of the Corn, The Fog). I've also fallen behind on the foreign horror scene, which is some of the best right now. And note the lack of Human Centipede films. Take that for what it's worth. Oh, and I might as well keep this month's "Tasty Track's" consistent with content...
TODAY'S TASTY TRACK The Misfits "Halloween"
Bonfires burning bright
Pumpkin faces in the night
I remember halloween
Dead cats hanging from poles
Little dead are out in groves
I remember halloween
Maybe this is a little premature. Halloween is still over a month and a half away, but that shouldn't stop anyone from becoming overly excited for horror film season. I've been so busy with my freelance work that I've had no time to catch up on the abundance of trailers released for these possibly disgustingly terrifying gems. So join me as I watch each trailer and give my completely biased prediction on the overall product.
The Possession (Aug. 31st)
Alright, this is one I already knew about due to the horror legend Sam Raimi's (Evil Dead, Drag Me to Hell) involvement. I'm not too excited about it because it doesn't stand out from the pack. Does the line "Based on a True Story" still affect movie goers? It looks very mainstream and I just can't get behind the story. I'll most likely be passing.
[REC] 3: Genesis (Sept. 7th)
Ya gotta go with the red band trailer, baby. I haven't seen any of the previous installments so I'm going into this one completely dry and unaware of what the hell is going on. I assume a wedding attacked by zombies? Some of which is caught on tape? I can dig it. Plus a bride running with a chainsaw is always a great selling point.
Resident Evil: Retribution (Sept. 14th)
Do these films even classify as horror anymore? I always saw them in more of an action/thriller light. But I was frightened by the video games growing up so I have no choice but to include it. I haven't seen the 3rd or 4th installments of the Resident Evil franchise so I might need a bit of catching up to do before I turn this one on... speaking of turning on... hello Milla Jovovich (yeah I went there).
Bait 3D (Sept. 14th)
Turns out sharks have been waiting for one good tsunami so that they can finally launch a surprise terrorist attack on our unsuspecting nation. Exquisite cheap fun in my book. I wouldn't watch this expecting a highly tuned story or a great suspenseful ending. I'm only here for sharks ripping up everything in sight... especially tiny toy dogs. Terrible staight-to-DVD goodness.
House at the End of the Street (Sept. 21st)
Uh-oh, this trailer starts with a PG-13 rating. It's already off to a bad start. There is nothing here that really encourages me to see it. I'm not really sure if the film goes backwards due to the scenes in reverse or if it's just an editing tactic for the trailer. It does have potential though. I'd wait until reading a few reviews before heading into the theaters for this one.
The Hole (Sept. 28th)
How can I say anything bad about Joe Dante? He's the director of one of my childhood favorites: Gremlins. Well, this film premiered back in 2009 so I was a little hesitant to add it but since it will have a limited release in the United State this month, I have to include it. I've heard some good things despite the strange pace of the trailer. Feels more like a horror film for kids, but that's not necessarily a negative thing.
Hold Your Breath (Oct. 5th)
I really cannot tell if this is a purposely crappy, campy movie or a serious attempt at horror. If it's going for crappy and campy, I'm all for it. Otherwise, I have absolutely no interest.
Sinister (Oct. 5th)
This. Looks. Great. Films based around home movies are all the rage right now so you can't blame this film for going down a similar route. But I love how the home movies are just a key element within an actual film instead of relying on the "found footage" to become the film. This one is definitely on my to-watch-list.
V/H/S (Oct. 5th)
I stumbled upon this trailer about 2 months ago and I've been excited ever since. We're not going to be able to escape the "found footage" sub-genre of horror so we might as well learn to live with it. This film has potential to take it to a new level. You can already watch it online, but I'll be waiting for the theater treatment.
Smiley (Oct. 11th)
This one has been creating some buzz online. I mean, look at that disgusting dude's face. Sadly, it's only a mask. But what's more terrifying than being pursued by a psychotic killer who's sadistically smiling the entire time he's chasing you? I've had many nightmares that follow this synopsis. Gives me goosebumps. (Speaking of Goosebumps, where's my Goosebumps: The Movie?!)
Grave Encounters 2 (Oct. 12th)
This one flew underneath my radar until I did a little bit of research for this post. I love the first one. If you're an Eddie B!og devotee, then you might remember me praising that film a year ago. Sadly, this one is going down the easy-to-screw-up Scooby Doo route (Let's investigate it, gang!), but I'll still be looking forward to the finished product.
ABC's of Death (Oct. 19th)
This is beyond cool. I really wish I could have somehow participated with the upbringing of this anthology. This doesn't really serve as a film but instead as a collection of current horror enthusiasts. I expect a really elaborate film with stories that range from frantically funny to downright disturbing.
Paranormal Activity 4 (Oct. 19th)
Yeah, I assume you've heard of this one. A lot of horror fanatics hate what these films have done to the genre but I for one would much rather see a Paranormal Activity film than another Ringu (The Ring) ripoff. I don't find that style scary nor do I find it worth my time. The Paranormal Activity films are great for a quick scare. The pace always leaves you uneasy and waiting for the next bump despite the fact that these films stick to the same exact formula. I'll see it.
Citadel (Oct. 26th)
It looks unique so it has my attention. I've always been the type of guy who hates the use of children as the antagonist in horror films. I just don't find children scary (unless someone tells me I'm about the become a father). BUT ... feral children?! That's something I don't mess around with.
Silent Hill: Revelation (Oct. 26th)
What's with horror films based on video games using the prefix "Re-" in their titles? Does "Re-" make a movie cooler? Anyways, I'm not impressed. Hopefully all this 3D mumbo jumbo can help the film actually make a profit. I've seen some clips from the first film but wasn't interested enough to watch it the whole way through. I played the original game a long time ago but these films look nothing like it. But this one has a chance to be a sleeper.
Did I miss any films? If so, please let me know so I can check them out. I'm always looking for my new favorite horror film so keep me posted with any diamonds you might find. Also, stay tuned because in October I'll be giving my updated "Best Horror Films on Netflix", which I'm very excited for. If you're interested, here's the list from 2011: Top 10 Horror Films on Netflix.
Tis the season to be scary.
TODAY'S TASTY TRACK
Mumford & Sons "I Will Wait"
So I'll be bold
As well as strong
And use my head alongside my heart
So take my flesh
And fix my eyes
That tethered mind free from the lies
Yup, the kid's still busy. But luckily I've found a little time on the side to write a post about a topic that randomly forced itself into my head. In a nation dominated by technological advances, we've become accustomed to looking over some little things that could possibly make our lives much easier. Due to the convenience of cell phones and the internet, we occasionally lose one of our most important skills as a human race: The skill of analyzing. Unless we're told to really analyze something, we don't even bother. We just whip out our pretty phones to occupy that empty gap that use to be taken by constructive thinking. That's what brings me here. Here are 5 "little things" that you should have known a long time ago and will never be unseen:
5) What Side Is My Damn Gas Tank On?
You pull up into a gas station ready to throw down the rest of your savings account just so you can drive to the Taco Bell one town over (you tell yourself you're getting something off the new Cantina menu, but we all know you're grabbing something cheesy, beefy, and with Doritos/Fritos in it) when all of a sudden you realize that you can't remember (or never had a clue) what side your gas tank is on. You pull into an open slot and suddenly have to waste additional time by exiting the vehicle to take a look.
This scenario always plays out with your tank on the opposite side of your vehicle. You swear to yourself in front of a 3 year old dyslexic child (why dyslexia, I don't know), pull a 3 point turn to reverse the direction of yourself, some Masshole pulls into your spot, and of course your day is officially ruined. Well guess what? There's a way to avoid this hassle. There's actually a little arrow on most cars right next to the gas gauge that points in the direction of your car's gas tank. Yup, and you're realizing this now. You're welcome.
4) Arrow Symbolism
Speaking of stupid, little arrows: See that space between the "E" and "x" in the FedEx logo? Yup, that's an arrow. This is why I love advertising. Because you get to manipulate people without them even knowing it. Beautiful use of subliminal messaging so that you know your love-package for a long distance butt buddy is moving efficiently from destination A to destination B. And since we're on the topic of moving between letters, go check out the Amazon.com logo:
Notice the arrow going from the letter "A" to "Z" that resembles a smile? That is also a intelligent way to let you know that they have "everything from A to Z" ... Clever girl.
3) Easy Way to Remember "Pi"
Want to see some magic? Write "PI.E" on a piece of paper. Hold said piece of paper in mirror. Say abracadabra like a big dummy. Presto, the rounded transcendental number 3.14 appears. Too bad you got that question wrong on a test back in middle school when all you had to do was type "PIE" in your calculator. But you were too busy punching in "5318008", flipping it upside-down, and showing it to your nearby friends. Uh-huh-huh-huh-huh.
2) Ketchup Cups: You're Doing it Wrong
This one right here makes me question everything I've ever known in life. An item that I've used so many times in my 23 years, 2 months, & 18 days of existence has never been used correctly. I'm talking about those dang ketchup cups. They're evil SOB's aren't they? Perfect for fry dippage, but inefficient for lazy hamburger soaking and those unique chicken nuggets with elephantiasis. Turns out we had a way to resolve this problem right in front of us:
If you pull on those little ridges, the cup's top expands and your friends instantly proclaim you the smartest man on the planet (unless you're eating by yourself... then you just pat yourself on the back and finish off your Quarter Pounder with a side of 20 McNuggs like the efficient machine that you are). Have you ever in your life seen any fat sack of grease do this? Is this a sick, selfish joke made by the inventor? Why did nobody tell us?!
1) Willy Wonka Girl Gets Bonked
How many times have you seen "Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory"? Too many times to count. Classic film I know, but have you ever seen this little girl get rocked in the face by the creepy candy man while he's singing his little song about how awesome he is to the unsuspecting children?:
The broad gets socked. And she takes it like a champ by sucking it up just so she can fulfill her sugar addiction and not fall to the back of the candy line behind Jimmy and Sally. She didn't even get a golden ticket for the bulbous bruise materializing underneath her chin that could manipulate the future growth patterns of her face .... Alright, I'm taking it a step too far, but you get the picture.
TODAY'S TASTY TRACK Dawes "When My Time Comes"
And now it seems like the unraveling has started too soon,
Now I'm sleeping in hallways and I'm drinking perfume
And I'm speaking to mirrors and I'm howling at moons
While the worst and the worst that it gets.
And the most successful and busy month of my young career comes to an end. I just went through a 3 week period traveling New England jumping show to show. For an individual based in Portland, ME working freelance, that's a triumph. This area is no where near as hungry for film & TV opportunities as NY/LA, so you really have to market yourself to get these jobs. But the worst part is, I was getting so many calls that I actually had to say no to a few of them. Some pilot for Bravo and a reschedule for A&E's "Hoarders" were tossed to friends of mine due to this hectic and varying schedule.
But let's quickly run through my small voyage. Things started picking up at the end of June right here in Portland when I joined a crew I previously worked with for an upcoming Food Network special. Then July hit and I jumped on with the Travel Channel's "Food Paradise" series as they explored some of the best restaurants in New England. I jumped between Southern Maine, Boston, Cape Cod, and Rhode Island as I worked with a small crew and got to try some of the most amazing food I've ever had.
I wrapped with that awesome crew just to merge with another professional crew working on Leftfield Pictures' "Bid & Destroy" around southern New Hampshire. If you're one of the 3 1/2 individuals who read my blog regularly, you might remember this as that National Geographic Channel shoot from the creators of Pawn Stars that was going to take up 2+ months of my life. I ended up saying no to it but luckily they needed some extra help so I was able to get in there and gain the experience.
Of course, there was minimal downtime. I shot right back up to Portland, ME to work camera on the first episode of Casa Club TV & Canal Ella's "La Chispa de Chef Carmen Gonzalez". It was a reality television show that followed Top Chef participant Carmen Gonzalez as she ran her new restaurant in Portland, ME and explored her life. It was a primarily Spanish speaking set so it was definitely an interesting experience. But once the local crew became use to the style of the crew imported from Miami, FL, it became an extremely beneficial learning experience.
Every time I'm forced to adapt to a new production crew, I leave with a better mindset. There's so many different styles of crews, which makes it a lot of fun to work with individuals from all over the globe and to adjust your own methods to fit theirs.
And now I'm here. Back at my day job and finishing up this blog. Yet still I'm always looking for that next opportunity. Especially anything with travel. But for now I'm going to fit some music back into my life. I have the Mumford & Sons' "Gentlemen of the Road" festival coming up, which has the potential to be the highlight of my already stacked summer. And since I'm still fresh from a 311 & Slightly Stoopid concert I went to this past Sunday, I'm going to leave you with this...
TODAY'S TASTY TRACK Slightly Stoopid "2am"
4 in the mornin, police knockin' at my door, what for?
Bet I know the reasons he comin' back and
And then they comin through, I tell them "He just kicked down my door"
Even though I'm on the floor with a gun to my head
