Hey look, Van Halen's back... that's kinda nice

I’m going to start the New Year off by talking about the old. And by old, I mean David Lee Roth and Van Halen.

You think David Lee Roth reuniting with Van Halen to produce their first album together in 27 years would feature an epic first single, but instead we get a song about tramp stamps called "Tattoo". I understand the whole “First we must release something catchy to get the audience’s attention” mindset, but c’mon, give yourselves a little more credit. Because no one wants to see old dudes talking about sexy housewives with tattoos. Let's save that kind of stuff for aging R&B artists like Usher.

Now let’s jump to the production aspects of this video. Who produced this thing? Getting your 20-year-old son to play bass in your legendary, Rock Hall of Fame band is one thing, but it looks like Eddie Van Halen even convinced grandma Halen and the rest of the family to videotape the music video. There are shots unintentionally out of focus, awkward camera angles, and an obvious lack of shutter speed knowledge with the strobe light sequences. And I wouldn’t be surprised if the reason the video is in black and white is because the individuals on camera forgot to white balance their equipment.

Let’s be honest, most of the budget for this was most likely spent on the balloons and confetti… which was put into reverse along with ½ the other shots just because they thought it looked cool… alright it does kinda look cool, BUT STILL.

And speaking of Van Halen family members, someone needs to tell Eddie’s son, Wolfgang, to actually look the part. He sticks out like a sore thumb. At least put on a pair of big sunglasses or grow some manly facial hair to hide your “I definitely didn’t work hard to get here” look.

...Or both?

Otherwise, I’m still curious to see what new stuff they’ve come up with, but I wouldn’t be able to take a whole album of this. Van Halen's never been one of my favorite bands but I’ve always loved their older stuff like “Runnin’ with the Devil” and their rendition of The Kinks’ “You Really Got Me”. Not so much the jumping around in spandex MTV days. And please give me another guitar-melting “Eruption”-esque song just so I can shut up… please?

TODAY’S TASTY TRACK

 
Lyrics Born

“Bad Dreams”

Got burnt by women, poor dirts in Venice
Landlords and tenants, got served by creditors

We have a deep passion
We can't keep dwelling on problems